Quitting is Easy
by The She Devil
Summary: Abby thinks about her life during a cigarette break. Luka joins her.


TITLE: Quitting is Easy

AUTHOR: The She Devil~

EMAIL: SheDevl541@yahoo.com

CATEGORY: General.

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: Up to 10.11

ARCHIVE: Just take it. Maybe let me know about it, though.

DISCLAIMER: I own everything. Even the ambulance bay.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I have no idea where this came from. Inspired by an icon, at least.

SUMMARY: Abby thinks about her life during a cigarette break. Luka joins her.

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A baby.

He was having a baby.

John Carter, the man who had claimed to love her, who had claimed he wanted to marry her, was having a baby.

Considering that shortly after professing those two things he'd run away to Africa, perhaps she shouldn't have been surprised. Considering that shortly after he'd come back and tried explaining things she'd kicked him out of her apartment, perhaps she shouldn't have been surprised.

She was surprised.

Carter was having a baby. Well, *he* wasn't having a baby, but his new girlfriend was. She couldn't even remember her name. Kim? No, no, something different, something unique. Cam? Karm? Cum? *Kem.*

Kem, that was her name, that was the name of his new love interest. The woman he'd met and banged and knocked up and was suddenly meant to be with. She rolled her eyes at the incredulity of it all, biting on the end of her cigarette as she stood alone outside of the ambulance bay. Meant to be. The words left a more bitter taste on her tongue than her cigarette did.

Kem.

Kem Kem Kem.

What kind of name was *Kem* anyway?? Before, she'd classified it as different, as unique. Maybe that had been her problem. She hadn't been unique enough for Carter to want to hold on to. After all, she was just a plain old Abby. Why would he want her when he could have a Kem? Why would anyone want her when they could have a Kem, a beautiful, mysterious, charming, pregnant Kem?

In life, she was just alone as she was here, standing outside in the ambulance bay, sucking on a cigarette that she couldn't get enough of but would surely kill her one day. Maybe that had been her relationship with Carter. They'd both been helplessly addicted, unable to see how they were killing one another. Doomed from the start. 

Some people just weren't meant to be together.

Some people were.

"Would you like company?"

His voice startled her so much she nearly dropped her cigarette, but soon she recovered and glanced at him with as best a smile as she could muster. Luka, of course. Always ready to help the helpless at a moment's notice. But she didn't want to impose by drowning him in her sorrows. She'd rather do that by herself, thank-you-very-much.

"That's okay," she replied, before indicating her cigarette. "I have all the company I need."

She'd hoped a subtle insult would cause him to leave, but he didn't seem fazed. He just stood there, eyes focused on the ambulance bay before them.

Silence. Uncomfortable. Gripping at them, inhibiting them from leaving.

Someone had to say something.

She did first.

"He's having a baby."

"I know."

"You're happy for him."

"You aren't?"

She drew deeply on her cigarette. Bought time. Wanted to be happy for him. Didn't have the strength.

"Abby – "

"Is it wrong for me to want him to be hurting as much as I am?"

He didn't even hesitate. "I don't think so."

"How long was he gone? Two months? Three? And suddenly he's in love and has a girlfriend and a baby and it's just…sickening."

"Definitely."

She looked at him, surprised. Saw a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Felt one tugging at her own.

"You think so, huh?" she asked, playing along.

"It is only because," he stated, glancing at her sideways, "he is obviously getting laid. And we, well…aren't."

She bubbled with laughter, her first genuine laugh in a long, long while. Shaking her head, she looked at him, standing close to her, smiling that disarming smile he had, looking handsome…standing close to her.

"You're very beautiful when you smile," he told her.

"So are you."

She was suddenly aware of the intimacy. He must've been too, because both took a mutual step away from one another.

She wondered what would've happened if they'd taken a step closer.

What could've been if she hadn't closed that door on him so long ago ? If she hadn't kept it locked, kept him locked out? Would she be here brooding about him, instead of Carter?

She wasn't sure.

She wanted to find out.

"Hey, Luka, do you…want to get something to eat after work?"

"Like what?"

"Like, I don't know," she replied, shrugging, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, two fingers still clutching at her cigarette. "I haven't tried that new place across the street yet. Besides for coffee, at least."

"It's pretty good," he stated. "Doesn't leave quite as an…'impression' as Doc's did, but still, it's pretty good."

She was acutely aware that he hadn't answered her question. "So…"

"So…?"

"Do you want to go?"

"Oh!" He chuckled softly, as if he hadn't realized he hadn't replied. "Yes. I'll go. I mean…I want to go."

"Great." She nodded, smiling slightly. Felt…nervous. Except not in a bad kind of way. "I get off at seven."

"Me too," he said. "I'll see you then. I have to get back inside. Coming?"

She glanced at her cigarette. Still had a few good drags, but somehow…it just didn't seem worth it. Expertly, she flicked it into the ground, watching the ash sparkle orange until it died away and meshed with the pavement. She turned to Luka, smiling up at him.

"Today's the day I quit."

"Then today is the beginning of the rest of your life," he told her.

And she believed him.

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The End.


End file.
